that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
