I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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