What did we do last night that was yellow?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
