i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
