I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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