I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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