I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I will be naked everywhere
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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