What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
