im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
