Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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