I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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