she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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