sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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