I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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