Moan for me like Helen Keller
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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