Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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