eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
