laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
