If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
