I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
