Porn is love you can see.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
