i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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