dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize