I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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