Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
