i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
