lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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