he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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