I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
