Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
is it fun? or sober?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
