How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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