Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
