I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Welp...herpes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
