Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
