At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My breasts were aching with rage.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You don't make any sense
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