i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
