And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
