And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
