Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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