the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is the high leading the old right now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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