just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I came so hard my ears popped.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
