I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
