and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
40s are totally the cure
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
