If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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