I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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