blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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