piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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