I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
