Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
