i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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