it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
